Pathetic Attempt of Being a Bouquet

No matter what I do or say, no one truly understands what I'm going through. My Grand Dad is dying of a rare blood disease, my life force (job with YMCA) has been taken away, and I'm pathetic.

I'm turning 23 years old in 2 months, I don't have a job (haven't started at the Hard Rock yet), I don't have my own vehicle, my own place, I haven't gone to school yet, I've done nothing with my life. I found the person I'm going to spend my life with. 23 years and that's it, that's all I've done in life.

She says I'm overly attached to things and can't let go. She mentioned death and the loss of my job. I think she's referring to the Grandmother, 2 dogs, and cat that I've lost since meeting her 4 years ago. My Mammaw was my favorite person in the entire world! My puppy, Rolley, was amazing and fun and he passed away way too early. My Boomer was 8 when he went, I was shopping for an outfit or shoes to go to my Mammaw's funeral when I found out he died. Kit, my most amazing cat ever passed a few months ago. Losing my job was not planned, it was forced upon me. I love my 25 kids and the other 27 kids in the YMCA program at Twin Lakes Elementary School. I loved the Blue Dragons as if they were my own children. How would you feel if someone told you that you weren't allowed to see your children anymore because of one slip of the tongue? (I called a 6 year old a jerk)

I know I get overly attached, I always have, that's what makes me such a unique and awesome person to be around. Why would I want to be the kind of person who moves on and forgets so quickly? I lost my kids a month ago, I think I'm allowed to still be upset. Did I mention that the person who reported the slip of the tongue was supposed to be my friend? I talked to her every day, not just about work but about other things in my life. We talked while I was supposed to be working and when I was at home or shopping. I genuinely cared about her and what she had to say. Why couldn't she come to me with her concerns? Why did she go straight for my back? I lost my friend ( 1 out of the 2 I had), my source of income, my happiness, my kids, my everything. I was left with nothing but my empty bank account, a billion work shirts, and my fiancee. I didn't even retain my dignity, when my boss sat me down to let me go, I cried in front of her. No one outside of my family has seen me cry, not even my doctors over the years. I was sobbing and tearing, I couldn't even speak properly. I was going on like a blubbering idiot in front of her. I've never been so embarrassed.

Thanks For Listening